I sit here, sipping on my coffee (what’s new?) and listening to the persistent rhythm of the clock keeping time. If only I could be that consistent every day. Steady. Instead I fumble... emotionally, spiritually. How many times have I doubted a God who has never given me reason to? Singing praises on Sunday morning and then challenging Him when difficulty comes on Monday.
I lose faith. I get angry. I question.
I believe that God is good. I really do.
But then the ever creeping question,
“If God is good, then why ___________?”
“Why won’t You answer my prayers?”
“Why won’t You heal this?”
“Why won’t You fix this broken situation?”
“Why me, God?”
My eyes need to shift. They need to come off of myself, and rest on the Prince of Peace. God is sovereign and I am not. I need to turn my focus from what I feel He Hasn’t done, and focus on what He has. Turn my mind from the questioning and embrace the Truth.
So I started a list. At first my list seemed cliche, like something out of my childhood Sunday School class. But the more I sought out the good, the more I saw how entrenched His goodness was in my life. The more I learn about God, the more I see His kindness in everything. The more I see grace as the foundation my life is built on; Grace because I am better off than I deserve, even when life doesn't look the way I think it should.
“Even if He doesn't _______, He has redeemed my soul from death.”
“Even if I never ___, He has written my life story to bring the most glory to His name.”
“Even if ____ , He took my place on the cross.
He redeemed me from the grip of the Devil.
He gives me my next breath.
He grants me grace, wisdom, and peace when I ask.
He equips me for what He calls me to do.
He prepares a perfect resting place for me in Eternity.
He endured what no one on earth will ever have to: the Cross.
I’ve realized that when I stop summing up my life by the things I don't have, and instead by the grace I was shown... my mind is transformed. Joy replaces despair, and discontentment is chased out by thankfulness. When my hands are no longer cupped together and reaching, begging to be filled… when I instead turn my palms outward in worship, thanking God for what He has done, and not what I am waiting for Him to do, that's when I see life the way I was created to.
And I know, He is kind. Not because of what He has given us, but because of what He has withheld.
If all I received from Him in my lifetime was salvation from condemnation, it would be too much. But grace keeps giving. Grace never runs out.
Lord, grant us the eyes to see your kindness that never changes. EVER. It’s always there, please give us eyes to see it. Make us ever aware of your gifts.
ARH Staff Writer