"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand”. ~David in Psalms 37:23-24
Life sometimes brings commas. One moment you’re moving along, and then something happens that forces you to pause...to take a breath. Something that may change the direction of your story (and mine) happened on Thanksgiving a couple of years ago.
My husband and I had just welcomed our first son in July and everything felt good. We dreamed of making a move some day... somewhere nearby with a little land to call our own. We would buy a house and settle in deeper than the shallow roots we felt beneath us. Our dreams were in the distance. We felt no rush to change. We were comfortable. Someday.
Thanksgiving came and we found ourselves looking for a new job. Thanksgiving morning we were celebrating our blessings and thanking God for His provision... and Black Friday we were so very uncertain of what was coming next. One day thankful, the next day overwhelmed. What a difference a couple of hours and a phone call can make! What a difference a comma can make.
We started the job hunt and door after door kept closing. Our timeline was shortening and there were decisions waiting to be made. Everything felt so uncertain. We prayed. I tried to trust.
The week of Christmas, Ethan received a job offer in New York and the next month we packed up our home, our 6 month old, and moved across the country.
Looking back I see God so clearly in those moments. In open and closed doors, the perfect apartment opening, and the love extended towards us.
He had our story written and prepared. He knew what was next. He orchestrated it all, we just needed a little push.
In every moment, God is teaching me to trust Him. In every moment of wrestling with my fears, He was demonstrating His goodness. His faithful hand was guiding. It’s in the little life events that God trains my mind to trust. He builds my confidence in His leadership and allows me to know Him on a deeper level than I had the moment before. In the middle of what felt painful, He was in the process of arranging for me what my heart so desperately desired. A home with deep roots. He is kind.
Looking back, I would choose those months of uncertainty over and over again, because now I see the outcome. The tears, praying, and moments of clinging to my Author, are all glittering nuggets of gold now in my hands. They are faith-stabilizing gems that no one else can refute. They are the moments that I will look back on when the next larger trial comes my way; the moments that will remind me to trust.
Had God changed when life got difficult? Never. He was the same on Thanksgiving as He was on Black Friday. He was faithful in those moments, and I know He still is, and He will be again. He is the Author. I can trust in His pen. My story is written for His glorification, not my comfort, and I can trust in His goodness that never changes. He will not let anything be wasted, even the hard things of my life. Time is not an obstacle for Him. He is there in past and future simultaneously. His sovereignty hems me in. The future may seem unknown, but I can rest assured, He is already there in the midst of it. He is preparing a way. He is trustworthy and that's all I need to know for now. Eternity will reveal the rest.
I count on one thing, the same God who’s never late is working all things out.